I had the privelige of sharing with our church, The Donelson Fellowship last night, and spoke about the command of God given to His people in Deuteronomy 6.  My preparations brought me past a passage that provided me with a great lesson on parenting.  It can be so frustrating and stressful to parent your way through a child’s disobedient actions and then subsequent negotiations.  This little insightful passage for we parents is found in Deuteronomy 3:23-27.

In a very compelling direct example for parents, we can learn how parent like God Almighty!  That should get our kids attention, huh?

The back story of this passage is from Numbers 20:8-12. The children of Israel were known for grumbling and complaining often blaming Moses for bringing them out of Egypt.  At this time, the Israelites were thirsty, very thirsty and like literal children, they reacted emotionally to a physical need that they should have know God would take care to meet for them.  The people sang their too familiar tune of woe and despair to Moses who went to God to ask Him what he should do.  God gave Moses very specific instructions about what to do.  Moses was to gather everyone before a large rock and speak to the rock in the name of God and water would pour forth.  Moses was muy frustrated (very frustrated) with the people and in anger cracked his big staff twice against the rock instead of speaking to it.  This was in direct disobedience to God’s command.  God still provided, but his punishment for Moses came immediately

Check out the text…

 ²³ At that time I pleaded with the LORD : ²⁴ ”O Sovereign LORD, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do? ²⁵ Let me go over and see the good land beyond the Jordan—that fine hill country and Lebanon.”

 ²⁶ But because of you the LORD was angry with me and would not listen to me. “That is enough,” the LORD said. “Do not speak to me anymore about this matter. ²⁷ Go up to the top of Pisgah and look west and north and south and east. Look at the land with your own eyes, since you are not going to cross this Jordan. 

Moses blew it big time, making the decision to allow his anger and frustration with the people he was leading and there was a price to pay.  The price was that God would not allow him to enter the Promised Land.

This is a situation that we parents are placed all the time.  Our kids are given specific directions about what they should or should not do, and often they will disobey  us.  How are we going to handle this?  I think we should do what God did.

1.  Provide clear directions for your kids.  Make sure they understand the expectation you have for their behavior.  God told Moses specifically to speak to the rock, not strike it.

2.  Expect them to obey, but be prepared in the event that they do not.  God responded to Moses immediately.  His first response was to take care of the task that Moses should have taken care of the correct way.  He still instantly provided water to the people, but He also immediately told Moses that He was displeased with his disobedience.

3.  Keep your emotions in check.  The last thing you need to do is explode to your children when they make a mistake.  God didn’t rain down fire or instantly strike Moses down with any disease.  He simply informed him that he had lost the privelige of leading the people into the Promised Land

4.  Stick to your guns.  In the Deuteronomy passage we see that Moses came back to God and pleaded with God to be able to cross over into the Promised Land, but God refused.   “That is enough,” the LORD said. “Do not speak to me anymore about this matter.”  God refused to relent on the punishment because He knows the failures that follow inconsistency and an unwillingness to make a punishment stick.

5.  Express your love.  God loved Moses and soon after this welcomed him into Heaven and His presence.  When your kids blow it, handle the problem, hand out consequences and then love the fire out of them.  

If we do these five things with our kids when they disobey, they will learn how to act correctly and obey.  We’ll also be parenting the way God has shown us to parent in His word.  

Hang in there, Moms and Dads!

Dad’s, if you have sons at home, you have future princes in training.  They need to be taught how to honor and respect women.  As a father of three daughters, I really think this is a must.  Last weekend I asked an 8 year old boy if he’d done anything for his mom for Valentine’s Day.  He said “no”, so I pried a little further.  Did you at least tell her you loved her?  Again the answer, “no.”  

My fear is that this little guy will not grow up without knowing how important it is to cherish and love his wife.  Dads, we have got to teach our sons to be men of honor.  If you have little men in your home, you should be modeling this honor and respect for their mom and your wife as you love her and serve her by speaking her love language.  

It may seem like a small thing now, but somewhere a little girl is dreaming of her prince charming.  So, please, do your part to make sure they don’t marry a frog.

Sports and competition is fun and valuable for teaching kids about life in the real world.  There’s something that comes from being a part of a team effort in some sport that can have a huge influence on the way our kids develop.  Being a part of football and baseball teams have benefitted me, encouraging me to remember the team dynamic.   

But sports and competition can often be a toxic presence in your household.  Too often, we’ve heard of parents going toe to toe with another parent over something that happened in a junior hockey game, or seen that parent who has “encouraged” their son or daughter during the game to the point that they were unable to perform at all.  Unfortunately, I’ve come to close to that in the times that I’ve coached my own kids.  

Parents, we cannot allow ourselves to fall into the emotional feeling that our kids must succeed and that their team must win.  The fact is, losing helps teach too.  We can’t relive our childhood playing whatever sport that they’re now involved in.  We had our shot, and now we need to let our kids have theirs without riding them too hard to succeed on the field of play.  This mentality isn’t just reserved for sports though.  Music lessons, dance and even scouting can lead us to this negative influence.  

It’s fine to hope our kids score a goal, hit a home run, or make a basket.  It’s great to require them to practice their scales, exercise and keep going when they want to quit.  But it’s not okay to yell, ride or otherwise place uncomfortable pressure on them to succeed in the way you define success.  

Winning isn’t everything, and the harder you push your kids in an inappropriate way, the less likely they are to even want to participate in the first place.  

Instead of focusing on every missed shot, or achievement, stress fundamental principles of the activity they’re in and stress effort and persistence.  Lovingly encourage them to go for it, and demonstrate your love and pride whether they go 4-4 with a homerun, or 0-4 with four strikeouts.

Well, I’m reading through the book of Lamentations currently. You probably know that this short book in the Old Testament is the sad story of someone crying and grieving, but maybe you’ve never read it. I haven’t read it before completely. I guess it’s like avoiding a movie you know will make you cry (Like, Underdog, for example). Guys especially don’t want to subject themselves to something they know beforehand will tug at their emotions and bring a tear to the corner of their eye.
Let’s face it: weeping and grieving doesn’t sound very inspirational for my daily time with the Lord. We usually like to focus on His promises to be there for us, His grace and love, or passages related to our reward in Heaven. We want to be lifted up, right?

Well, sometimes we need to smacked in the face, in order to see things more clearly. So, as I’m reading in Lamentations 2:11-12 I read these words,
“because infants and babies faint (die) in the streets of the city. They cry to their mothers, ‘ where is the bread and wine?’ as they faint (die) like a wounded man in the streets of the city, as their lives are poured out on their mother’s bosom.”
The context of this terrible reality that is taking place takes us to Jerusalem when the city was destroyed and many of it’s inhabitants were taken captive by the Babylonians. The Bible teaches us that God allowed this destruction and captivity to take place because of the sins of the people of Israel. The consequences of their sins were a high price to pay. During this destruction of the city, the gates were torn down, the temple was ransacked, and the people were wounded, killed or just left to die in the wake of all this. Even the smallest and most vulnerable citizens of Jerusalem had to suffer.

But they hadn’t done anything wrong! Why should they suffer? They were innocent bystanders in the truest sense of the word. This is certainly true, but unfortunately, children suffer the consequences of the sins of their parents.

When I read this this morning, I knew I needed to start writing this down.

OUCH! My kids will suffer because of the sins I commit. Dad, when you spend time allowing your eyes to fall on a woman other than your wife, there are consequences. Mom, when you give in to your kids when they don’t like something they’ve been told to do, there will be consequences. Parents, when we aren’t serious about teaching and training our kids to love the Lord and to serve other people in love, there will be consequences.

The job of parenting is so tough. I’m there with you with three daughters in my house. There are definitely days when you wonder how you’re going to find the energy to make it through the day, much less train your children in spiritual things. Just remember to take it one day at a time, capitalizing on the everyday teachable moments.

Many kids experience a disconnect between church and home that isn’t evident while they are kids, but shows up big time when they hit the teenage and young adult years. The disconnect comes from knowing the stories in the Bible from beginning to end, but not understanding how they apply to everyday life. We live in an age where kids go through cellphones and game systems like I went through Captain Crunch as a boy. If something isn’t useful or meaningful to them, they disregard it. We have to work to connect God’s Word to the real world, and there’s easier way to do this than by using Splinks from D6 Family. Seriously, go sign up today!

This story is a great reminder of how something small made a huge difference. Just like the tiny tree didn’t look like much to Charlie’s pals, the tiny baby, the Christ child, didn’t look like the Savior of the world. Who could know from that humble beginning that this precious, little baby boy, would grow to become the bridge for all of humanity to join God. Jesus’ humble beginning and Charlie’s tree will help teach your children about how all things are possible with God, even something as small as a baby. Once children understand the true meaning of they can begin to grasp what Christmas should look like in THEIR everyday lives, just like Charlie’s friends who finally understood and decorated the little tree.

Your children need to be reminded that they were born just like Jesus was, and that they can make a difference in the world too. When Jesus lives inside of them, they can perform great acts of service that the Bible tells us in James are literally from God. When we act in a way that Jesus would, we are literally the hands and feet of Jesus. That’s why the Spend Less, Give More Christmas offering will be so exciting for our families. The memory of giving up something so that someone else in the world will have a chance to live a healthier, longer life will be a milestone for your children to use a big foundation for serving God in the future.

God bless you and your family today and everyday as you remember the birth of Jesus Christ and honor Him with some special offering.