I am really tired lately. REALLY tired. I am not one of these people who can live on very little sleep. I have friends who consistently accomplish their days’ work on 3-4 hours of sleep per night. I can’t comprehend how they can do this. I have had to make it for a couple of days in a row without much more sleep than 3-4 hours, but every day? Uh-uh. No way. I can usually make it on about 7 hours, though 8 is better.

Lately, however, our schedule has changed. My oldest daughter, Abby, has begun high school. The thought of that alone makes my head hurt a little bit, where does the time go? Well, Abby has to be dropped off at 6:45 am. Ouch. Currently, I am taking Abby to school and Katie is getting up the two younger girls and getting them to school. I’m not that good at doing hair and getting to the car with all the backpacks, etc. I’m just a little forgetful at times, so me taking Abby is a good move for our family.

So, I’m dropping her off every day and have made a commitment to go and work out or exercise in some way each day. Nothing too strenuous, although I am working with weights consistently for the first time since high school football. I’ll walk on the treadmill, ride my bike, walk the greenway, lift weights or some combination of those elements. I feel pretty good, but I am just about to fall on my face at 2:00 in the afternoon.

What do you do when you get tired? I’m taking suggestions. One thing I read this morning helped me, and maybe will help you too. I was reading the Bible and read Psalm 3:5 which says this, “I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.”

Even if I’m physically spent, I can never lose sight of the fact that the Lord is the strength of my life, both physically, mentally and spiritually. He’s there for me and He’s there for you. Not that just a
little power nap wouldn’t help

The 2008 Summer Olympics are ready to kick off in Beijing, China.  The opening ceremonies are this Friday, and will kick off competitions in dozens of different events.  The bill for the opening ceremonies is said to be in excess of $100 million dollars!  What an amazing amount of money.  That’s a huge sum to spend, even for a permanent structure. As I recall, LP Field in Nashville, where the Tennessee Titans play was built for somewhere in the neighborhood of $180 million.  That is certainly more money, but when you consider that it is a permanent structure that can hold 70,000 people for a variety of other events in addition to football games, that looks like a bargain compared to the money that will be spent on one, single EVENT.  Wow.  That’s a lot of fireworks and special effects.  

Today, I’m asking you the question, “how do you spend your resources?”.  Specifically, how do you spend your parenting resources?  What are my parenting resources you ask?  I’m no expert, but I think one very important resource is your brain.  You know that blob that floats in your skull, that great central processing unit for your existence?  Our brains are an amazing part of the overall system of our bodies, and experts tell us that we’ve only tapped into a small percentage of the brain’s full capabilities.  

Since your brain is so important for all of life, it makes sense then to me that our brain is one of the easiest and most important parenting tool we have at our disposal.  To begin implementing this resource in our parenting we have to shift our thinking to be intentional about using this resource in a most efficient way.  If we don’t make an intentional and determined choice to do this, we’ll fail.  It takes more than words or thoughts, it may take serious change.  This may seem simplistic, but how many times have we repeated the same mistakes personally or as a parent, knowing full well, what the result will be.  We have to change our wiring mentally to start using our brain adequately as a parent.  One big change to make in our wiring is to start paying attention to our kids.  I know you love them, and protect them from sharks and rabid possums and such, but we need to pay attention to the things that they do, watch and say.  It’s not enough to just bring your kids to church.  

If we allow their brains to be filled with several hours of media per day, how much of a chance can we possibly believe the one-two hours of church each WEEK can have any kind of lasting impact?  That’s not enough time.  It would be like planting a beautiful new bush in your yard and watering it one time, one day a week.  The plant will die in the summer heat, and the teaching that your kids receive at church will die if not watered and fertilized by you as their parent. We need to stay tuned in to their lives to be able to pick up on subtle developmental changes that occur as they grow.    What causes those subtle changes?   Is it the job you do as a parent, or something else that they take in?  We also need to use our brains in helping kids make wise choices about the media they take in.  If we let them, kids will watch tv, play video games and surf the internet until their eyes, ears and hands are worn out and they fall asleep, but this isn’t good for them. 

 Now, don’t get me wrong, I love some media myself, and we have television, internet and video games in our home.  Therefore, I’m not suggesting some “quaker-like” cocoon surrounding our kids, keeping them from experiencing the culture we live in.  I’m simply urging you to use the first parental resource, your brain, to set boundaries with your kids.  Set a time limit on their media intake, follow-up daily about the things they are learning at church, or the things you are learning at church or in your quiet time.  

It takes a lot of resources to consistently involve your children in what goes on at church and it can be expensive in more ways than just financial.  Think about the example about the spending on the Olympic opening ceremonies and the cost of a permanent structure like LP Field that is available for use year after year from thousands of people again.  At the end of your parenting career, that is when your kids are grown, don’t you want to be able to look back and know you spent your resources wisely?  Don’t be guilty of spending them all in one very small portion of their lives.  Spend those resources in ways that will make a lasting difference, and you will be the kind of parent God desires for us to be as written in Deuteronomy 6.

I will warn you up front: this story is a little gross. It is also true and FUNNY, so I must tell it. Last week I took the girls out to Target and we got a couple of items we needed plus spent $24 on a three lane, multicolored slip and slide. For the record, a tarp or landscape plastic from a home improvement store would have been a better value.

We came home and I rolled it out, staked it down and started the water. All three of the girls and I went down the slide. We were all sore from hitting the hard ground, but having fun, when I noticed some items that looked like small pellets of fertilizer or fish food about six inches from the end of the red slide we had been sliding on. I knelt down for a closer inspection to find that we had been all over a pile of rabbit or deer poop! Yuck! That was a pretty nasty revelation. Here’s a brief video of our reaction right after we found the nastiness…

This blog is all about how to be the kind of parent God wants us to be. Not how I think they should handle themselves, but how I honestly believe our standard for living, the Bible, makes it crystal clear that no one other than a child’s mother and father has the final responsibility for helping train their kids. Other people and institutions assist us in this effort, but at the end of the day, parents must not deny their responsibility. To brush up on what God’s word has to say on the matter, go and check out Deuteronomy 6 again.

Some of you may be wondering why I’ve taken the time to write about the 2008 presidential elections, and I want to tell you why. I believe part of helping our kids to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength is in realizing that we can’t just instruct and train in one or two areas. No, if we’re going to do the job right, we need to help them in every area.

The mind is a fertile field for ideals and principles to be sown like a field of wheat, but is also easily corrupted by the weeds of music, movies, television and other cultural influences. Therefore we must be diligent to keep the field clear of these weeds that can ultimately take over the entire field if left unchecked.

How exactly do we help protect the minds of our children? Some things are easy, keep them away from stuff that everybody believes to be negative like pornography, but other things are not so easy. Their minds have weeds growing up each day and we have to use every opportunity to keep them from taking root and spreading.

We protect the minds of our children by protecting our mind first of all. We can’t allow garbage and weeds to litter our own field and hope to protect our children. Secondly, we continually compare the things we see and hear to the standard we should live by, God’s Word. If we know a certain television show, musical group or activity could bring shame or dishonor on God, we shouldn’t do that particular thing.

This consistent analysis of everything that comes into and out of our lives is what helps us learn how to “pull the weeds” from our minds. THAT is the reason for writing about Election 2008 issues. The election brings out many different debates about the candidates and the issues that we need to analyze for ourselves so we know how to help our kids understand as we do. Remember, we don’t analyze these things by checking our feelings about them, but by checking the standard of God’s Word. It doesn’t matter how you or I personally feel these issues.

We don’t always have to do all our own analysis though. That would be a difficult task. We can use different resources to help us accomplish this. Hopefully this blog for parents is one of those resources. Other resources we can trust are the analysis of other people or organizations. For example, Focus on the Family and Dr. James Dobson have proven themselves as a group which tries to help Christian parents in this way, and I believe they are trustworthy.

Here’s your assignment: check out the news story about Dr. Dobson being interviewed about Barack Obama on Fox’s Hannity & Colmes. Click on the link below:

Read this story and test what Dr. Dobson and Mike Huckabee say about these issues. Then check the standard to see if their words agree with or contradict what the Bible says. Check out the positions of both candidates to find out how they compare to what the Bible says.

Consider this an exercise to help you care for the mind of your child. Please realize that our fight is not just against our kids losing their hearts to satan, but that we must fight to protect their entire being from these weeds to help them grow into a spiritual champion.

I was hanging with a bunch of kids at the Faith In Action basketball camp in Paragon Mills Park, cooling off, drinking some water, when 7 year old Mikhail reached across 6 year old Angel to pick something up on the other side of Angel. As he stood back up, Angel, who had been sitting up holding his water bottle on his lap with the lid off, said to Mikhail, “Dude, you just put your arm pit on my bottle.” When Mikhail neglected to respond, Angel simply said, “seriously, you did.” He didn’t go bonkers, he just calmly reported what happened, but clearly was worried about germs.

Emily Walker each witnessed this event and immediately started laughing out loud to have seen this 6 year old boy try to communicate his displeasure with Mikhail without freaking out. It was just very comical. He undoubtedly was thinking of all the germs that could be living in Mikhail’s armpit and was concerned they were passed off to his water bottle now.

He probably could have just wiped it off and continued drinking it, but I don’t think he did, and I wouldn’t have either. That was pretty gross.

It is obvious Angel has a powerful radar for things that could contaminate him physically, but I wonder if anyone’s teaching him how to avoid things that could contaminate him mentally and spiritually. There’s a lesson in Angel’s water bottle story. Someone took the time to teach him, and no doubt you’ve taken the time to teach your kids about how to avoid things that will physically harm him, but are you also taking the time to teach them how to stay away from things that will harm their spiritual growth? These things may not be as readily noticeable to us as the dangers of drugs, germs and such, but we owe it to our precious children to perform due diligence in all areas of life.

I’m praying that you’ll do that for your kids today.

We finally know for sure that the two main candidates for President of the USA will be John McCain and Barack Obama. We still don’t know who the vice-presidential candidates will be, but I wanted to give you some quick and easy facts about these two men. Help your kids understand that they will be seeing many commercials on television about these two candidates. They need to know that everything that comes on the tv is not necessarily true. Try and help them understand that the commercials exaggerate at times.

Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee and is from Illinois. He is a U.S. Senator and has been a Senator for part of one term of office, which is four years. Mr. Obama is the first African-American to ever win the nomination of a major political party for President of the United States. He is married and has two younger children.

John McCain is the Republican nominee and is from Arizona. Mr. McCain is also a U.S. Senator and has served for many years in the Senate. He is married and has children who are grown. The most famous thing about Mr. McCain is that he used to be a jet-fighter pilot during the Vietnam War. He was shot down and captured by the enemy and kept as a prisoner of war for several years, and was tortured during his captivity.

There is much more that could be written to describe these two candidates, my words are only meant to serve as a basic intro to the two. For more detailed info, check each candidates campaign or personal websites.

We’re getting closer and closer to the next Presidential election. While we still don’t know for sure who the candidates will be, the amount of election stuff on television and the internet is only going to become more and more frequent. Chances are, many kids will see this election stuff and not understand what’s going on. As a parent we have a responsibility to train our kids and teach them the things that they need to know to develop into productive citizens.

So, I wanted to provide some quick and easy talking points for you to check out and then maybe use these as a way to help explain all this election stuff to your kids.
Election Facts
Candidate This is the word that the news people use to say who are the people that will be voted for. There are two main candidates. Most people will vote for one of these candidates
Vote Every U.S. citizen over age 18 gets one vote for president. A vote is when you choose someone to be the leader.
Party The two main candidates are part of either the Republican party or the Democratic party. Party doesn’t mean a fun time with cake and balloons in this case. The word party means a group of people who all believe the same things about the way the United States should be run.

These are obviously just some very basic items, but hopefully they’ll come in handy for explaining these sometime foggy concepts to your kids.

I’m writing mostly to dads out there with this post, and it’s about something that has really struck a chord in me lately. Currently, I’m reading the story of Brian “Head” Welch. Here’s the cover of the book:

He was one of the founding members of the heavy metal band Korn, who recently gave his life to Jesus Christ, and has since quit the band, drugs, alcohol, pornography and other addictive behaviors. What grabbed my attention wouldn’t leap off the page to most people, but I read the story of his childhood looking for clues about how much spiritual training and love he received as a boy. As it turns out, he received absolutely no leadership from his parents in spiritual matters. Keep in mind he was a regular kid in a regular family, with both parents in the home up until about age 13. He talks openly about knowing his mom loved him and how she showed it to him, but how he never felt the love from his father. His father wasn’t on drugs, or an alcoholic, but the way he treated and didn’t treat Brian played a huge role in his development. His father never felt comfortable showing him love. He never encouraged him in a consistent manner. The only consistent feeling this story described was an impatient anger with he and his brother.

I mentioned that he was a regular kid in a regular family. “Regular” these days too often means that kids have loving parents who want the best for the kids, but don’t have the personal discipline to lead their kids, or the knowledge of how to. Brian Welch had parents that loved him, but kids need more than just the word love. How do your kids KNOW that you love them? Welch writes that he had a need that only his father could feel. A need for love to be shown, approval to be given, recognition and training to help him grow properly. His father thought he was doing fine as a dad, giving Brian lots of chances to play sports or engage in hobbies, one of which became playing guitar. Before giving his life to Christ, his habits and addictions easily could have cost him his life. As a dad, or as a mom, how will you feel if one day your sons or daughters end up like Brian Welch. Sure, he may be an extreme case, but I know if one of my daughters even came close to the behaviors and addictions Welch had, I would wonder what I did wrong as a parent. In Welch’s case, he needed the attention and leadership from his father, not just the love from his mother.

Dads, your sons and daughters need to feel the love you have for them in unmistakeable ways. It may not be comfortable to you to show love in a big, open way, but for their sake, try to become fluent in the language of love that will help you kids bloom and blossom into the champion God wants them to be.

If you have been checking out the iParent blog for very long, you know that I am strong proponent for parents stepping up to take the leadership role as their children’s spiritual leaders.  The church simply is not there to water and fertilize the seeds of faith we sow into their lives on Sundays and Wednesdays.  What happens in the other 165 hours in a week, to strengthen them and help them practice their faith?  In everyday life, our children, and we as grown-ups need to be engaging in activities that help us act and think like God wants us to think, not just “turning off” our Christianity while we’re away from church.  I know I must improve in these ways with my daughters and suspect that many parents can relate to feeling like we’ve not done what we could have to help our kids grow into spiritual champions.  That’s why this morning, when I walked into a hotel lobby for breakfast, I paused in front of an aging big-screen television to watch Dr. Jeremiah Wright answer questions about his beliefs and the controversies that have arisen from some of his comments and relationship with presidential candidate, Barak Obama.  

I’m not overly interested in pursuing the political side of things here on the iParent blog, but rather the spiritual side of things.  Dr. Wright kept referring to him and his church as Christians, and himself as a minister of the Gospel.  When I hear people identifying themselves in these ways I start to listen to what they say.  The question that disturbed me most was this, “Do you believe the verse that says, “I am the way, the truth and the life.  no man comes to the Father but by me.”?

I was disturbed because he didn’t say, “of course I do, I’m a Christian and minister of the Gospel.”  What he said in answer was a quote from Jesus from John 10, where Jesus says “I have other sheep too, that are not in this sheepfold.”  I take this to mean that Jesus Himself disagreed with His own words, and that there are actually many ways to Heaven.  What Jesus meant is that he’d come for the Jewish people first, but that already, people of other nationalities and backgrounds were believing in Him as the Messiah.  

Having said all of this…I was struck by this overwhelming sense of needing to be the protector of the kids and families who attend my church, but also a need to protect those who live in my very own house.  Kids and young Christians are impressionable and we have to constantly gauge their words and deeds to see if they are getting off track.  Getting off track begins in the brain, and ultimately will be exhibited in words and deeds.  

We can never be afraid of telling our kids about truth, even if it doesn’t sound good, or makes us have to answer more questions. According to the Bible,  Jesus is the only way for a person to reach Heaven, and our kids have friends who may never embrace Christianity.  Parents have to be proactive to protect our kids’ faith, because left alone, it may become dilluted and weak.  A weak faith, is really not much of a faith at all.  The first challenge they face, they are more likely to step back from their initial position.  Ultimately, this weakness, first from parents, and second in kids, is why we see that over 50% of Christian high school students leave the church after graduation.  

Are you a protector?  Stand strong and guard the hearts and minds of the young ones God has entrusted to you!